


from their ashes i'll bring rebirth

by krystian



Series: Unfamiliar Cadence [2]
Category: Code Vein (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Gender-Neutral Protagonist (Code Vein), Minor Character Death, POV Second Person, Spoilers, dont worry no one in the squad dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krystian/pseuds/krystian
Summary: Deep down in the depths, there is a peculiar Revenant called the Shepherd.What they do is unknown, but maybe you and your companions will find out.
Relationships: Louis & Protagonist (Code Vein)
Series: Unfamiliar Cadence [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668760
Kudos: 28





	from their ashes i'll bring rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> this is set somewhere between the fight with eva and the fight with mido i guess i dont know
> 
> im currently sick, so sorry if that makes no sense lol. Been dealing with nosebleeds all day which just makes it better tbh
> 
> title once again taken from [Amber Journey](https://youtu.be/vNiCzBh69CI):  
>  _Tell me do you know how softly the breezes could sing?  
>  If we let them come through with a might all their own  
> Just how many fates do we have to see disappear?  
> From their ashes, I promise I'll bring rebirth_

It’s kind of boring, to be fair, being stuck at home base and not really doing anything except lounging around and speaking to your companions from time to time, exchanging redundant information.

But without any further leads, there is nothing you _can_ do – it annoys you to no end, so you use most of the time to spar and test out new weapons and blood veils. You can feel the others staring at your back as you relentlessly drive your sword into the punch bag, stabbing and slashing and just all in all trying to gauge how much damage you can do.

You can literally feel Mia’s worried gaze following you as you dodge invisible enemies and attack the thin air, can feel Yakumo staring at you with an amused expression on his face, one arm propped up on the bar so he can rest his cheek on his hand, can feel Louis occasionally glancing up from the map he is seated in front of.

But the only ones to approach you are Jack and Eva – both of them appear out of nothingness, right behind you. Either that, or you just didn’t hear them coming, which would just mean another flaw of yours that had to be eliminated. “Are you alright?” Eva asks in that kind, soft voice of hers that you’ve all grown to love.

Nodding, you slightly turn around to face them, sheathing your sword again and wiping your hair out of your face. It sticks to your skin, slick with sweat and you grimace at thought of how you must look right now. Deranged and dirty, probably. “Just fine.”

Jack stares at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. “You shouldn’t overexert yourself, you know that. And if you feel the slightest hint of an oncoming frenzy – no matter how irrational or unlikely it may seem – do not withhold that from us, kid. Got that?”

You nod again. “Yes, sir.” Of course you know that, you aren’t stupid after all. But you also know they’re just worried, just looking out for their last light of hope in these dark times. You can’t blame them for that. “I’m sorry for worrying you, I didn’t intend to do that.”

Jack waves you off, turning around and stalking over to the map _(probably to converse with Louis about tactics)_ but Eva stays with you a little longer. “It’s alright to feel frustrated at the lack of progress,” she says, a light smile on her face as she does. It makes the scars across the bridge of her nose stand out even more – not that they take away anything from her beauty. “If there’s anything we can do for you, just tell us. I’m sure Jack-“ she turns towards her... what? Saviour? Friend? Lover? You still can’t put your finger on what exactly they are- “wouldn’t mind helping as well, even if he doesn’t show it.” She chuckles; it’s a throaty sound, and for a second you remember how her voice sounded back then, carried across the dunes of hot sand.

“I appreciate that,” you answer earnestly, smiling back at her. “I just wish we could do _something,_ at least, no matter how insignificant it may seem.”

Eva raises a hand to her chin, seemingly thinking about what you just said. Then, her eyes light up. “Didn’t you pick up a new map for the depths? Why don’t we go there and try to clear the area? It might be beneficial for us.”

You… hadn’t actually thought about that. But that’s right – on your last excursion you had found a new map, buried beneath rubble and dirt. Reaching into your pockets and rummaging around a little, you fish it out. It still looks tattered, old, but Davis might just be able to work with it.

With renewed enthusiasm, you hop off the platform, nodding to Eva in passing, and come to a halt in front of Davis, the map pressed tightly against your chest. Expectantly, you wait for him to turn around; he does so after a few seconds, even though he seemed to have been deep in thought.

Staring up at him, you hold out the map, which he takes without hesitation, turning it around in his hands. “Can you take me there?” You ask, holding your breath.

He examines the map for a few seconds, staring at the partly illegible writing on it and furrowing his brows, but finally, _finally,_ he nods. “I can,” he says, piercing you with his sharp eyes, “but be careful down there, will you? And come back immediately if you sense trouble.”

You’ve heard this a hundred times before, you’re not a newbie. You give him a simple thumbs up to indicate that you did understand, and then head back to prepare a little bag to head out. Explorations of the depths usually don’t take long, but it just makes you feel better to know that you’re prepared for any eventualities.

But all you do that for is really just to get some time to think – because who shall you take with you?

All of your friends are superb fighters with their own strengths and shortcomings; you don’t know what the new area will be like, so how should you know which one of your companions to choose? You ponder over the question for a few moments as you stuff items into you bag, check your blood code and blood veil, and finally equip your weapon, making sure it’s still sharp enough.

In the end, maybe it’ll be better for you to go alone. Just this once won’t do any harm. It’s not like you’re helpless all on your own; you know how to operate your blood veil and you can swing that sword of yours pretty well, it’ll be fine.

Of course that argument won’t work on your friends, though.

“You can’t go all on your own,” Mia expresses her worry when she sees you make your way over to Davis, bag and sword in hand. “What if you get hurt and no one of us is with you?” Her eyebrows are contracted and her hands are gripping her cup of tea so hard that you’re afraid it might break.

“I’ll be fine,” you retort, ignoring the urge to pat her on the head like one might do with a small child to reassure them. “It’s not going to take long – I’ll be back before you even notice that I’m gone.”

Yakumo, who’s wandered over to join the argument, shakes his head. “Don’t think so – we don’t need any more people with martyr complexes, really.” He winks at both of you, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

You roll your eyes. You are everything but a martyr – if you were one, you could’ve saved a lot more people. Which you weren’t able to. The guilt gnaws at your insides, eating you from within. Still, you answer nonetheless. “I don’t have a martyr complex. I just don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to join in on this expedition.”

“Sure thing, pal,” he replies easily, grabbing his sword and examining it for a second before deeming it good enough. “Are we leaving or what?”

It annoys you to no end. “Yakumo, I’m not taking you with me.” You, too, cross your arms in front of your chest, falling into a defensive stance. Two could play this game but really, there’s no need for this argument to even take place.

Once again, you feel the others stare at you – even Io seems to have woken up and is now regarding you with curiosity in her big eyes. Eva and Jack are conversing quietly in a corner by themselves, talking in hushed voices, and Murasame and Coco are averting their eyes, not wanting to be caught staring at the commotion. “There’s no need to coddle me,” you say, eyes fierce and face blank. “I think I can take care of myself quite well.”

Someone clears their throat behind you – Louis. How that guy always manages to teleport right next to or behind you never ceases to both amaze and frighten you. “I have some business in the depths as well. It’d only be beneficial for both of us to investigate, if you don’t mind.”

Well, you actually _do_ kind of mind. You don’t know why you’re so adamant about going alone – maybe it’s the wish to prove yourself, to show the others that you don’t depend on them like a person drowning might depend on the mercy of the sea. Maybe it’s just the wish to not see them dying again and again. Grinding your teeth together but carefully keeping your face as neutral as possible, you take Louis in. He seems ready to leave, staring at a small map in his hand instead of looking at you, his other hand loosely gripping the Enduring Crimson. “Fine,” you finally press out through tight lips. “Fine, you can come along.”

Yakumo shoots you an indignant look, you’re sure, but you don’t mind. You stride through the chapel to talk to Davis once again, Louis right on your heels. You can hear the clacking of his shoes on the tiled floor and the rustle of his clothes as he follows you like an obedient pet.

It’s dead silent besides that; everyone seems to be focused on you, and you alone, staring at you with judgemental eyes. But they have it easy – they don’t have to carry the weight of Vein on their shoulders. They don’t have to bear the burden of killing the Queen and they don’t have to sit through agonizing hours of viewing other peoples’ memories, their losses and sorrows.

But they have their own weight to carry, you realize with a pang of guilt. Their own mistakes they beat themselves up for, their own losses that they have to overcome somehow, their own doubts and their own grief.

You feel sorry for snapping at them like that – you know they’re only worried, trying to look out for you. _(Inside you, a small voice whispers that they aren’t really looking out for you but more so for what you stand for; a saviour and ray of hope, the Revenant that has the potential to save them from their demise.)_

It makes you sick to think like that, so you simply don’t. Nodding to Louis, you speak to Davis, asking him to teleport both you and your companion to the depths, which he promptly does – not without warning you another time, though.

Both Louis and you seem to be glad once you’re away from the others’ watchful eyes, and you immediately heave a sigh of relief, shoulders sagging and tension leaving you body. Next to you, Louis is checking the map. “So, what are you here for?” You try to make small talk as you activate the mistle, dripping a tiny bit of your blood on it.

“There’s a rumour going around about a Revenant down here in the depths. The descriptions are hazy and not a lot to work with, but they might be able to have new information or something.” He shrugs, shortly looking up from his map to send you an encouraging smile. “I know how it is,” he remarks, scanning you with that one, blood red eye of his, “it’s hard and sometimes you just want to get away. We all understand that, the need to be alone for some time, but sadly, we don’t have that luxury. There are more important things right now.”

You nod, averting your eyes and instead studying the walls of the cave around you. They’re mossy, a dark shade of green, and wet-looking. The air around is humid and heavy, weighing on your lungs as does the supposedly filtered miasma; it’s thick down here. You shuffle your feet a little on the uneven ground, shifting your weight from one feet to the other and watch as small particles float around. There’s nothing for you to say, really. “Shall we get going, then?”

It’s not clearly visible with the mask on his face, but his eyes crinkle around the edges, so you think he’s smiling beneath it. “I’m ready if you are,” he simply says, and you nod, making you way over to one of the paths leading deeper into the depths.

The air here is warm, making you a tiny bit dizzy, but you push through the fog, Louis - as always – close on your heels, his sword raised half-way. You tighten your grip on your own weapon, eyes scanning the surrounding area and watching for any sign of movement.

It’s not long before something red is visible in the distance, and you squint through the mist as you creep closer, trying not to make too much noise. Behind you, you can hear Louis’ heavy breathing, strangely distorted by the mask and multiplied by the walls around you. You incline your head towards him; the glowing ore _(or whatever it is)_ in the wall reflects in his eyes, making them shine unnaturally bright. You nod to one another, silently communicating.

Your heartbeat is not fast-paced, but you aren’t exactly calm either – it’s the middle between those two extremes, a healthy dose of excitement and fear. Readying yourself for an attack, you continue to advance towards your target, carefully placing foot after foot on the muddy ground.

Feeling Louis tense up behind you, you raise your sword, taking a big swing to bring your sword down onto whatever unlucky creature’s passed your path, until-

Until you stumble as you realize what – or rather who – is in front of you. You lose your footing _(as does Louis, you note),_ almost falling over a stone on the ground, but you catch yourself at the last moment, ramming your sword into the ground to maintain your balance.

The human – no, that’s not right, no human would be down here; it must be a Revenant.

Does it matter, though?

The Revenant looks at you with wide eyes, cursing softly under their breath. “Jesus Christ, you scared me, buddy!”

It’s a guy, you realize – his hair is a bright shade of orange _(which you mistook as red before)_ and he has slanted eyes, staring at you. It’s just Richard; for some reason or another down here in the depths.

You raise your hand to massage your temples. “What are you doing here?” You hadn’t expected to run into _him_ of all people. Last time you’d seen him, he’d been searching for places for him and his brothers to reside in, so there was no real explanation as to why he was down here.

Louis, now next to you, clicks his tongue. “Might this be the Revenant mentioned in the rumours?” He asks softly, speaking more to himself than either of you. Richard stares at him for a few moments, unblinking, but then averts his eyes to look at you. “Great to see you again, even though we never seem to meet under good circumstances.”

Cocking your head to the side, you sigh. “What is it now? Have you lost anything? Or do you need help defeating the Lost?” Louis is still mumbling to himself. Both of you ignore him.

But – unexpectedly enough – Richard shakes his head. “Nope, I’m leaving the area. Just wanted to rest for a bit. It’s not safe down there.”

That seems to grab Louis’ attention. “Not safe here? What do you mean – how is this any different from the other parts of the depths we’ve encountered thus far?” He’s crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking expectantly at Richard, who’s now scratching the back of his head.

“Y’know, the usual. Swarming with the Lost and the miasma’s pretty thick here as well. And besides-“ he lowers his voice to a whisper as if entrusting both of you with a secret.

Unconsciously, both you and Louis lean forward to hear what he has to say.

Richard doesn’t disappoint. “They say there’s a Revenant down there. A dangerous Revenant, if you catch my drift.”

Louis furrows his brows. “A dangerous Revenant?” He echoes, voice tinged with curiosity. “What do you mean?”

The redhead shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, I haven’t met them. But from what I’ve heard, they apparently say some really shady stuff. Most Revenants call them the Shepherd – well, sometimes at least. Other names include the Ghost Light and the Jack-o’-lantern. None of these are really scary names and I don’t really know why people call them that, but everyone told me to just stay away from them, so…” He trails off, shrugging again and raising his hands as if saying ‘Well, what can you do?’.

You exchange a look with Louis – this is definitely worth investigating. “Anything else?” You ask, because it is important to gain as much information as you can before your put yourself in unnecessary danger.

Richard shakes his head. “Nah, that’s all I’ve got. Good luck down there and kick some butt!” He waves at you and Louis before venturing back to wherever he came from, leaving you and your companion alone in the dingy cave.

“That certainly is a lead we should follow,” the brunet notes, writing something on the back of the map in that neat handwriting of his. The pen he uses seems to be the fountain pen you’d given to him a few weeks ago.

Something’s not sitting right with you, though. “What do you think? About their names, I mean? The Shepherd and the Jack-o’-lantern – are those maybe just synonyms for Jack?”

Louis inclines his head. “I don’t think so – Jack definitely hasn’t been down here, and even if, he would still be known as the Hunter; it’s unlikely that they’ll just use a different name for him now. It must be someone else.”,

You ponder that for a moment. “I guess you’re right. But then who is the Shepherd?”

He points to the pathway leading deeper into the depths. “There’s only one way to find out. Just be on guard and we should be fine.”

Readying yourself to prepare for the departure, you brace one hand on the wall to check your equipment – it’s warm and slick beneath your gloves, almost as if it’s pulsating with life. Quickly, you retract your hand and try to inconspicuously wipe it on your clothes, grimacing as you do so. “Ready to go, Louis?” You ask your companion, who’s still intently staring at the map as if it’s holding the answer to everything. 

The only thing you get back is a curt nod, but really, that’s all you need. You’re tired of advancing carefully, being scared of every shadow around the corner – maybe dashing forward into terra incognita isn’t the safest or smartest choice, but it surely is the fastest. Louis does his best to keep up, but even then he lags behind a little. At least he’s put the map away and is focusing on your surroundings.

The passageways are tight here, there’s not much room for anyone – or anything – to hide in the little nooks and crannies, but it also means that’s there no real way of dodging should something choose to attack you. It doesn’t matter, though, as you need to push forward and pull through – this Revenant Richard spoke about could be a new lead, and even if they weren’t, well, it certainly didn’t hurt to investigate.

Both of your footsteps echo in the chambers you pass, each and every filled with mist and something that looks like red dust – probably just haze. It litters the ground, staining it slightly red and mixing with the green shimmer the walls are emitting. Then you notice something different – there’s a kind of smell in the air, like iron or some other metal, mingling with what appears to be rotting flesh or the like. You scrunch up your nose – the mask may filter the air, but it doesn’t stop the room from reeking like death.

Absorbed in your thoughts like that, you don’t notice that Louis has come to a halt, examining one of the walls, his hand feeling the surface. It looks disgusting, goo sticking to his hand as if it wants to eat him whole. “Found something?” You ask, slowly approaching him. It’s best not to startle armed Revenants; you had learned that the hard way.

He grunts noncommittedly. “Maybe,” the brunet answers vaguely, fingers still feeling the wall, apparently looking at something you can’t see. Then he motions for you to come closer.

“Is something wrong here?” You ask, because to you it looks like a completely normal – if mossy and glowing – wall. You raise your hand as well, overcoming your disgust and placing it next to Louis’. There are small indents beneath your fingertips as you, too, begin to search the wall.

“Do you feel that?” Louis enquires, brows drawn together, and you nod, assuming that he’s talking about the indents that seem to appear every three or four centimetres. “Those are claw marks, if I had to guess. They’re all over the wall. It’s not – I haven’t seen something like this in a very long time.”

Cocking your head to the side, you stare at him. “Why is that so peculiar? It was probably just a frenzying Revenant or one of the Lost.”

To your surprise, he shakes his head. “Before you showed up, there were a few cases like this one, where parts of the depths were just littered with claw marks. It just seems… like a weird coincidence, that’s all.”

It doesn’t seem all that weird to you, but then again, you can’t remember if you’ve ever seen claw marks like these before. Anyhow, you don’t feel like arguing right now. “And you never found out where they came from?”

Louis heaves a sigh as he massages his temples. “We never did,” he says, his eyes distant. “But each and every of these locations were the same, even though they technically had nothing in common.” He gestures around you with his sword. “The same claw marks, the lack of the Lost, mentions of a traveller in the depths – although it was never the same name –, haze all over the ground…” He trails off, but he doesn’t need to say anything more.

“We should definitely check that out.” Your voice is clear and loud when you speak, like that of a fearless leader, someone who knows what they’re doing. Not waiting for an answer, you turn around to follow the path further into the depths; everything is eerily silent around you, just the dripping of water and your laboured breaths.

A few chambers further, Louis is the first one to point out that something is off – the air is almost unbreathable at this point. Not even because of the miasma, but because of the amount of haze in this place, on the ground, in the air, and every other place you can imagine. You’ve never seen such a big amount of haze strewn about an area before – the occasional loss shard? Yeah, of course. Now and then even a solid loss crystal. But never before has the haze been in the air like that, fluttering down like snow. Could be bloody snow, if you squinted hard enough

Gripping your weapon a little tighter, you slowly step into the large room, lit up dimly by the glowing ore in the walls and the shimmer of the haze. It lands in your hair and on your clothes, and you’re too preoccupied to brush it off. Louis follows you suit, and even if you can’t see him, you can imagine what his face must look like – that same pinched expression he always wears when something bothers him.

Speaking loudly doesn’t seem like a good idea to you, so you stay quiet, feeling your way into the open space, cautious of anything that might be lurking in the mist.

A silhouette forms in the fog; it’s tall and slender, a halberd limply in both of their hands. They aren’t facing you, and from behind, Louis nudges you with his shoulder. You’d stopped walking, glued to the ground. 

“You think this might be the Shepherd?” You whisper as quietly as you can, shifting closer to Louis. You can’t see his face from this angle, but he nods with such fierceness that it almost makes you flinch back.

Steeling yourself, you step forward, your fingers flexing around the hilt of your sword, clenching and unclenching again. Loudly, you clear your throat. “Excuse me?”

The person turns around, and for the first time, you can see them clearly. Half of the woman’s face is hidden by a mask, made of some off-white material. Long, fair hair flows down her back, swaying with every move she makes, and the rest of her is clad in white clothes as well. She seems ethereal in the depths, like something straight out of the pearly gates.

The woman cocks her head to the side, regarding both you and Louis with a calculating look – you don’t like it, but at least she hasn’t raised her halberd. She steps closer as well, squinting through the fog, and with a sinking feeling you realize how tall she is and how easily she handles the weapon as if it weighs nothing.

“Excuse me,” you try again, not taking your eyes off her. Glancing to the side, you can see Louis shift into a defensive position, and something else moves, lurking in the shadows. “Might you be the one they call the Shepherd?”

The woman stops abruptly, her eyes narrowed. “Why, my child? Are you and your friend lost? Have you come to me so I shall show you the way to the surface?”

You try to exchange a look with Louis, but your companion seems pretty occupied. Nodding, you play along. “Yes, we’ve gotten lost and we don’t know the way back and… we just thought that you might know the way.” From behind, you can feel Louis’ incredulous stare piercing through your back.

“Why didn’t you say that sooner?” The woman chuckles deeply; her voice isn’t unlike that of Eva, just a little scratchier, as if she used to smoke a lot. “Of course I can show lost lambs like you the way back.”

It makes you uneasy, the way she calls you that as if she was leading you to the slaughter, but you decide not to comment on it. “We’d be in your debt, ma’am. Please do show us the way.” You bow a little, the way you’ve seen Murasame and Yakumo do it before, and motion for Louis to do the same.

But the Shepherd has already turned away. “Just follow me then,” she simply says, striding into the fog and blending into it.

Louis gives you The Look and shrugs, symbolizing that you should probably do what the woman wanted if you wished to gather more information.

It’s actually not all too hard to catch up to her; she even seems to slow down a little when she realizes that you’re lagging behind, her halberd held in front of her as she guides you deeper and deeper into the cave.

Now that you’re closer to her than ever before, you notice that her weapon is modelled to look like a shepherd’s crook, which seems fitting. Maybe that’s how she got her name, then.

“So what are you doing down here, all on your own?” You finally ask, trying to break the uneasy silence even if it is only hesitantly.

The woman shortly looks down at you before focusing on the path again. “I help lost children like you by guiding them back to their origins and letting them become better people. I am basically doing His work down here, so He shall not be tainted by the soil monsters walk upon.”

Louis pulls at you sleeve, and you can hear – or rather see – him mouthing something to you, but you can’t understand what he wants to tell you. “That’s… very wise of you,” you reply belatedly, realizing that the woman is waiting for an answer. “But- there’s something else I’ve been wondering about-“

Louis, seemingly having reached the same conclusion, interrupts you, stepping forward to position himself between you and the woman. “You’re not leading us out of here, are you? You’re guiding us deeper into the depths!”

Laughing, the woman throws her head back, the sound reverberating in these narrow pathways. “How naïve!” She waves her hand a little and both of you jump out of the way, but she merely cleared away the mist. It doesn’t vanish completely, but it seems to have been enhanced with some kind of gift by her.

Now that you can see clearly, you realize all three of you are up on a plateau; the cliffs are steep, there’s no way to run but backwards. Just as the thought crosses your mind and you turn around, the woman throws something in that direction; something, which emits such a bright light that you have to shield your eyes in order not to be blinded.

You’re disoriented for a second, stumbling around and getting closer to the edge. A fall wouldn’t be advisable, but it also wouldn’t kill you.

But if the fall doesn’t kill, then surely the hordes of Lost down there will, staring up at you with greedy eyes and bared teeth, blood-spattered and waiting for your downfall.

Suddenly, Louis is next to you, dragging you away from the edge and the woman. The light behind you gets warmer the closer you come.

“You foolish children don’t realize that what I am doing is a holy duty that must be fulfilled. Mankind is imbued with sin! But to get rid of your burden, you only need to be reborn until all of the impurity has left your body. He has given us such a great gift, and none of you can properly appreciate it!”

If her tone is anything to go by, she is angry – livid, even. Her hands are clenched around the halberd, her knuckles even whiter than the gown she’s wearing. But she isn’t done talking.

“I’m just finishing what the Thorns of Judgement couldn’t do! So just accept your fate and be obedient little lambs!”

With a yell, she lunges forward, trying to push you off the ledge, but you dance around it, carefully avoiding her and the jabs of her weapon. You can’t see what Louis is doing, so you just hope he’s alright and somewhere safe, preferably.

Trapped in your thoughts like that, you only notice the advancing halberd when it’s too late and there’s no room for you to dodge. It grazes your side, and sharp pain flashes through your body as you stumble a little more, small rocks falling down the edge behind you.

You don’t want to die.

Something red flies past you and materializes behind the deluded Shepherd – Louis is trying to distract her. It seems to work; the woman turns around to deal with Louis as one might deal with an annoying fly by trying to swat it away. There’s not much room for him to dodge, but he manages.

Using the time he bought you to heal, you watch helplessly as Louis struggles with the Shepherd; how she keeps him away with her halberd only to lash out at him now and then, tearing into his clothes and leaving scratches and gashes on his skin. It’s enough – no friend of yours should have to sacrifice themselves.

Then, the Shepherd finally shows a weakness – it’s just a second, barely enough time to react, but your body is always faster than your mind, moving your arm through the air as you slash the woman in white and staining her gown red, making her lose her footing on the uneven ground.

But as she stumbles, so does Louis. He’s dangerously close to the edge, tilting slightly backwards and you dash forward, staring right into his confused face and ignoring the woman, to grab his hand and pull him on safe ground. Your legs feel shaky – actually, your entire body does, but you do your best not to let him notice that as he squeezes your hand and nods at you in thanks. Once you’ve made sure he’s safe and sound, you turn your attention back to the Shepherd.

The Shepherd who isn’t there anymore. Louis draws his brows together, frowning at the place where the woman stood a moment ago as you take a few, tentative steps forwards.

Right at the edge a pearly white hand is clutching the ledge, and you kneel down to peer at the woman holding onto the plateau, extending your own, bruised hand to help her up – no matter how vile or dangerous she might seem, you can’t just let another person die. She’s misguided, sure, but even she might be able to see the errors of her ways.

She just stares up at you with narrowed eyes. You notice that the halberd she had before is now on the ground of the pit, several of the Lost surrounding it and looking upwards with greedy eyes. Here and there you can make out a human-looking face, and it’s a thousand times worse than the disfigured monsters you usually see.

Shifting her grip, the woman glares at you. “If this is the way He has intended for me, then I shall not succumb to the temptation of false salvation, but instead accept my fate. Farewell, lost children. Until we meet again.” With that, she closes her eyes and you lunge forward to grab her wrist or something, _anything,_ really, but it’s too late – she slips right through, her peaceful face getting smaller and smaller as she nears the ground.

Louis drags you away from the edge once again, before she hits it, but you can still hear her agonized screams, turning into whimpers and then finally silence as the Lost devour her alive. “It’s not your fault; there’s nothing you could’ve done,” he croaks out, and you nod, dazed.

“Did you gather the information you were looking for?” You ask, eyes fixed on a spot on the wall. The bright light at the entrance has shrunken with its owner, only a slight glow left.

“I have, actually. Let’s head back, alright?” Louis extends his hand, and immediately you grimace – the memory of the woman that had chosen death over her so-called ‘sin’ is still too fresh. Withdrawing his hand, Louis watches as you get up without his help and brush yourself off.

“Let’s get going, then.” You don’t look back at the pit – you don’t want to see anything, even though you know there’s nothing left of her. Letting Louis lead the way, you follow him slowly.

The glow at the entrance is still there, and although Louis pays it no mind, you kneel down to examine it. Digging a little in the mud, your hand closes around something solid, and you pull it out to look at it.

It’s a small cross; two names are engraved in it, both of which you don’t recognize, and it feels warm in your dirty hand. You let your fingers close around it, feel its weight in your palm and then pocket it, standing up to follow Louis out of here.

He’s patiently waiting a few feet ahead, watching you with soft eyes. “The others are probably waiting for us.”

“Then let’s not keep them waiting any longer,” you simply answer, and together you leave the grotto. You probably won’t return for a long time _(never again if it was up to you),_ so you turn around one last time at the entrance, watching the intricate patterns on the walls, pulsating with light and life.

When both of you return to home base, you have unanimously decided not to tell the others about what really had transpired. Smiling, you tell Murasame, Mia and Coco _(the latter just rolls her eyes as you start to exaggerate, but the corners of her mouth turn upwards nonetheless)_ a story about how you defeated a huge Lost on your way, as Louis analyses the information he’s gathered with Jack, Yakumo and Davis.

The only ones not fooled by your act are Eva and Io. Their eyes keep following you as you wander around the chapel – especially Io’s gaze seems laden with sorrow, and you just can’t bear to see her sad.

Praying for guidance doesn’t seem that unreasonable anymore – not with the way you seem to make your friends and companions despair.

The cross in your pocket feels heavy.

**Author's Note:**

> cheers to the cool-looking Revenant called “Shepherd” that answered my distress call in the depths, you really helped me out there, bud, even if you were kind of intimidating. 
> 
> Sorry for making you bad in this story but keep on helping ppl. Or farming marks. Or whatever it is you're doing down there
> 
> also, if you ever find someone named 'ganymede' and they fight really bad, chances are that's me


End file.
